The Transformers Issue 5
Into the evil Decepticons' Stronghold
Published: Saturday 17th November 1984
UK No. 1: “I Feel For You” - Chaka Khan
Chaka, Chaka, Chaka, Chaka Khan.. Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan.. Ahem. The fifth issue of The Transformers appeared on the racks in UK newsagents on Thurs… hang on… no… SATURDAY 17th November 1984!? What the devil is going on? Well it seems Marvel UK in their infinite wisdom decided to move the release date to Saturdays going forward. No idea why but that’s is where it will stay.
So, as I alluded to, there’s a new number one in the UK pop chart… and it’s a belter! The Prince penned “I Feel for You” re-recorded by funk royalty Chaka Kahn has taken the top spot it so rightfully deserves, and incidentally, that harmonica solo… that our Stevie who you’ll remember, dominated the top spot for the first 3 issues of The Transformers. What comes around goes around.
The nightmare is far from over for Sparkplug as this cover depicts very well. The panicking mechanic struggles in the vice-like grip of a robotic hand, the giant alien robot Thundercracker looming over him. You have to feel for the guy! Once again John Ridgway provides the cover art , It’s pretty foreboding isn’t it!? Other features include “Four-in-line Competition” and probably most intriguingly “And Introducing Matt and The Cat”...what could that be? Let’s open it up and take a look.
As usual the inside front cover and first page are occupied by the credits for the issue, Editor letter, Autobot Fact file, readers letters and some shameless product promotion. The Autobot Fact File is an interesting one, yes it is finally an A-lister but it aint an Autobot! No it’s none other than Decepticon boss man Megatron. Among his many abilities Megatron can “link up interdimensionally to any black hole and draw anti-matter from it to use as a weapon”! This will come up later!
I particularly like that Editor Sheila Cranner asks that readers save their pennies and refrain from using first class stamps for their competition entries, and if they do send in drawings not to use pencil as it will likely not be picked up by the printers. Helpful stuff.
On page 4 begins a new Transformers Story entitled Prisoner of War! Of course this picks up from where the previous issue left off with Sparkplugs abduction… but there’s been a slight change of staff. Jim Salicrup takes over properly as writer, whereas he scripted previous (US) issues based on the plot written by Bill Mantlo. This makes more sense when you consider that Jim was the editor of the Spider-Man titles at the time. Frank Springer remains on art duties and once again there’s Bob Budiansky as Editor.. .but more on that later.
This is a great page isn’t it? Frank really communicates Sparkplup’s anger and terror at being trapped in Starscream’s cockpit as they ferry him to Decepticon HQ. Upon arrival Megatron lays out in no uncertain terms that Sparkplug will convert earth fuel into Transformers fuel for him and only him… or else! Spark Plug, being a military man, only gives up his name and number to Megatron… who is having none of his shit.
Meanwhile the Autobots are flagging outside Sparkplug Auto Repair, without fuel they can do nothing to help their new human friends. Prime and Bumblebee argue over who’s more responsible for Sparkplug’s plight, to which Buster points out he does not give a shit! He just wants his father back! Time for a break…
On the next page Radio One DJ and Brexit fan Mike Reid is pictured with an unfortunate little robot dubbed sieve head by sneering media types. Read all about it below if you must…
Two more pages of relatively nothing happening in the story followed by another Robot Round-up (in which we are invited to read all about a real life robot exhibition and promotional robots that can be hired out for parties) and the Autobots and Buster have returned to the ark where they are greeted by Ratchet… who had something important to tell Optimus Prime, he is met by one of Prime’s now famous “Not now Im too busy to hear important information that may benefit me greatly if I paused for one second and actually listened to people” shut downs.
Meanwhile Megatron is using his powerful methods of ‘persuasion’, AKA threatening hom with a painful death at the hands of Laserbeak’s eyebeams, to convince Sparkplug to do this bidding… With that agreed it time for another poster from that advert Marvel UK have been harvesting for stills for the past 4 issues this time featuring Thundercracker and two other dudes I can’t name… and at the time no one could they were just background stooges. (I’m sure fans have given them names by now?).
The Decepticons under Sparkplug’s instruction set about gathering raw materials, in the form of lab equipment ripped out of a local university and a tanker full of primitive earth fuel, which draw the attention of Washington D.C, Moscow and….
That’s right Bona fide members of the Marvel universe Nick Fury, Dum Dum Dugan, Joe “Robbie” Robertson and more importantly Peter Parker AKA your friendly neighborhood Spider-man. The lack of subtly on the behalf of the Decepticon’s FINALLY results in the army being sent in to attack ‘Castle Decepticon’. To be continued!
That’s right just as things are ramping up we are denied the rest of this issue of the US Transformers comic and thrust directly into Machine Man. The shiny golden people we encountered in the last issue are causing our hero a spot of bother, whilst seemingly wishing to teach him an important lesson about humanity. The pay off of this being delivered on the final page of the comic. However before that, as promised…introducing Matt and The Cat!
Well… that’ll do you for this issue I think, see you back here next time for issue 6 yeah?